LK: A History Brief

Welcome back, dear reader. While I had hoped to get this particular post finished by mid week that thing called Life saw fit to interfere. Alas for the crushing weight of capitalism on our fragile hopes and dreams....

Now, where was I? Ah yes, the first real collision with normative behavior and it's judgement of others.

This encounter taught me two things: 1) Not everyone shared or looked kindly upon my preferences, and 2) I had to learn how to conceal certain pieces of information from those who might cast a judgmental stare my way. So began my college years during which I moved away from home and, aside from a brief and weirdly pious moment in the collegiate Christian movement, began to explore the world of latex more purposefully. I purchased my first vinyl (being a broke college student) pieces, explored bondage, rope play, and BDSM, and started looking for a relationship with which to share these wonderous, salacious sensations inspired by all things shiny.

I was inspired by websites like 3xL (Lust, Love, and Latex) and the blog "Diary of a Latex Lady" which can still be found online but, sadly, stopped updating in 2014. Here were places where latex kink, fashion, and lifestyles were discussed openly and joyfully. Not a thing to conceal, but something to be embraced for being unique and beautiful.

Unfortunately, my search would take a bit longer than others. While I was at a university, it was still a university in the Deep South. What passed as progressive and Avant Garde in it's hall of learning was barely left of center by worldlier standards. Attitudes on sexual expression and experimentation where, unfortunately, similar.

I won't regale you with all the tales of love lost, but there were definite ups and downs and quite a few number of missteps. I lost no less than three relationships during this time by exposing my kink to my significant others. A typical pattern emerged of cautious interest followed by increasing aversion and ultimately open rejection of my paraphilia for latex. In retrospect an "I can change them" attitude pervaded each instance.

No, no you cannot, my kink is a hardwired and ingrained piece of who I am.

A hard, but vital lesson on too many occasions.

Now, not all my experiences ended in rejection of latex, or of BDSM which I was gleefully exploring (and which was generally more "acceptable", go figure). One or two partners were equally engaged in my fetish, but life events always seemed to interfere; a move, a job change, a graduation.

I graduated, joined the working world, hated my career, and came back for a second swing at higher education. Focused intently on finishing my Masters as quickly as I could, I found that other concerns, including latex, had to unfortunately take a back seat.

It wasn't until I completed my MS and moved to another state for my first corporate job that I was finally able to indulge my desires to their boundaries. I sought out latex designers, catsuit makers, and bondage equipment crafters to either make orders or collect blueprints and plans (I am a bit crafty) to make my own equipment. My latex collection grew and evolved; catsuits to casual wear to hoods to gas masks to bondage and denial. However it always remained something that was kept within the confines of my safe space; the memories of rejection and judgement seared into my brain.

I met the love of my life and best friend, we wed, moved for jobs and were happy. But I still felt nervous discussing certain things of an kinky nature. While not their fault, the trauma induced upon me in years past lingered.

Finally, in 2020 (what a year, right?) I decided that something had to be done before I burst. I did what any and every Millennial should, sought sex counseling.

And now, over the last four years I've peeled away layers of insecurities and relentless fears. I've become more comfortable with who I am, what inspires me, and what makes my blood race. It was, at times, hard work but always worth it and now I come closer and closer to living the latex life I've always wanted.

During the work day you can typically catch me with at least one piece of latex on (working from home helps, obviously), and I stretch toward my goal of integrating latex and rubber into my daily casual wear. It is a work in progress, but it's my progress and I'm quite proud of it.

And so I bring this work in progress, this font of knowledge, this obsession to you dear reader. To share my experience, perhaps to inspire others, and to let you know that you are not alone my rubbery friends.